The Atlantic editor Jeffrey Goldberg’s latest misadventure as a fly on the wall as U.S. navy and intelligence officers deliberate and executed an assault on strategic targets in Yemen over industrial texting app Sign proves what we’ve all the time suspected: These group chats are the place the actual stuff goes down. Now, we will all dream of being the mysterious “JG,” unseen however all-seeing in these emoji-riddled, big-thumb-oopsie sanctums. With out additional ado, listed below are another group chats, actual and fictional, that we’d like to be in (and, wow, take so many screenshots of).
The Chat: Not Kourtney
Members: All of the Kardashians besides Kourtney.
The subject: As revealed by Kim Kardashian in 2023, a gaggle chat referred to as “Not Kourtney,” containing Kardashians, Karfriends, and different Karassociates, however undoubtedly, completely, not Kourtney, exists to hash out “why you’re such a distinct individual and why you might have this vendetta.” On the time, that vendetta was whether or not Kourtney or Kim had extra of a declare on carrying Dolce & Gabbana; absolutely the rich-people head-scratchers of “issues” have continued.
The Chat: Tree Paine and Herself
Members: Tree Paine, and Tree Paine solely
The subject: A look at Taylor Swift’s infamously and terrifyingly competent publicist’s Notes archives, or wherever she retains her compiled to-do lists, reminders, and various ideas. (By accident add an editor in chief to her top-secret plans? Tree would by no means.)
The Chat: Not the Boss of Me
Members: Kennedy Heart Board of Trustees, previous and current, plus associates
The subject: The artwork is not going to be MAGA-fied! Watch as Ben Folds helps Lin-Manuel Miranda workshop lyrics to a diss rap, full with lamentation that nothing, nothing in any respect, rhymes with “orange.”
The Chat: Look At You, Nominated for an Oscar!
Members: Gwyneth Paltrow, Demi Moore, Sara Foster, Jennifer Meyer, assorted associates
The subject: In Self-importance Truthful’s April 2025 cowl story, Paltrow revealed that her telephone was a-buzz, because of Moore’s Oscar nomination for The Substance that very morning. “It’s so fucking rad what’s taking place,” Paltrow stated. What we’d name rad is the chance to witness GOOP within the wild, skincare ideas, theories, and all. Do you assume she sends photos of that little lizard out the window? We hope so.
The Chat: 👨⚖️👨⚖️👨⚖️
The individuals: The Supreme Courtroom Justices
The subject: This one has a single message to this point: Sonia Sotomayor’s all-lowercase, no-punctuation “did u get this.” No person confirmed whether or not they did, the truth is, get this, however the group has begun mailing letters. The discourse isn’t swift, neither is the handwriting legible. We’d lurk within the group chat simply in case somebody taught Clarence Thomas the right way to ship GIFs, as a result of wow, wouldn’t that be one thing.
The Chat: The Monterey 5 (and Meryl)
Members: Laura Dern, Shailene Woodley, Zoe Kravitz, Nicole Kidman, Reese Witherspoon, and Meryl Streep
The subject: This one is actual! The Large Little Lies co-stars had a energetic group discourse of the Monterey 5 (and Streep), the place Dern revealed that Streep “conjures up us to be higher folks” and Dern principally requested about snacks, resulting in Kidman “modified my life” by turning her onto apples sprinkled with cinnamon. Sure, please.
The Chat: The Tortured Man Club
Members: Joe Alwyn, Paul Mescal, and Andrew Scott
The subject: The latest message is probably going from Scott and alongside the traces of “sorrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeezzzzzzzzzzzzzz lol.” Joe Alwyn exited this group.
The Chat: Updates
Members: Amy Poehler, Tina Fey, and Jon Hamm
The subject: No jokes. Solely dialogue of which vitamin dietary supplements are literally value it, cool life hacks they discovered on-line, and an especially high-stakes Fantasy Golf league all three participate in. They’re very involved about Tiger Woods, for causes ACL-related and in any other case. This actually might damage the (PGA) tour.
The Chat: Not Paid Sufficient For This Shit
Members: Justin Baldoni and Blake Energetic’s PR groups
The subject: I–. Truthfully, we will’t even start to guess.
The Chat: Bunker Group A
Members: Elon Musk and his youngsters
The subject: You simply know Lil X has one thing to say, and his personal smartphone with which to say it. Vivian Wilson is, after all, the undisputed group chat MVP, in spite of everything makes an attempt by Musk to dam her fail.
The Chat: Hassle in Paradise
Members: The White Lotus PAs
The subject: Whodunnit? Why? And who the hell took my caftan? Mike White, we demand solutions. And, sorry, couldn’t pull a JG-style silence on this one. I’m making my presence identified, and I’m asking questions.
